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The True Story of Humpty Dumpty

by

Bill MacWithey

Once, there was a beautiful white rooster in charge of crowing every morning to awaken the farmer and all the animals. That's how the cows knew it was time to come to the barn to be milked each morning. Just as the sun came up, the rooster would fly to the top of the hen house and crow, "Cocka-doodle-doo, cocka-doodle-doo!" All the hens thought he was the most beautiful rooster in the whole world. Every morning when he yelled out his cocka-doodle-doo, all the hens would say things like, "Oh, my, oh, my. Isn't he the best looking rooster in the whole world?"

But one hen always stood off to the side looking at the rooster, not saying anything. She had pretty dark red feathers, and the prettiest long eyelashes you've ever seen. She didn't know it, but the rooster watched her, too. Finally, one day, he flew down, landed right beside her, and invited her to have breakfast with him. She fluttered her pretty eyelashes at him and it was love at first sight!

Well, to make a long story short, the magnificent rooster asked her to marry him and she accepted. Now, each morning after he awakened the farmer and his family, the magnificent rooster and the pretty red hen had breakfast together and spent most of the day walking about the farm together. All he could talk about to the other animals was the beautiful red hen.

The other animals were sort of jealous of the rooster and decided they could replace him to awaken the farmer. The pig said, "If I could get to the top of the hen house, I could awaken the farmer with a nice loud OINK!"

The sheep said, "I'm sure everyone would agree a nice civilized BAAAAA would be better than an oink."

Mr. Horse said, "Poppycock! I say Poppycock! All of you know the horse is the most magnificent creature ever! I could wake everyone up with a nice loud WHIIINNNNY!"

Even though many of the animals wanted the rooster's job, they were delighted that he was getting married. It would surely mean a big party. So the world's most magnificent rooster and the world's most beautiful hen were married, and very soon she laid four eggs. The rooster seemed to crow a little louder each morning, knowing he'd soon be a daddy. Finally, the eggs hatched.

Well, three of them hatched, and there were three baby hens strutting around the yard with their mother, but the fourth egg didn't hatch. They watched over it for several days, and finally, a leg popped out one side of the egg, then another leg appeared on the other. Then a pecking from within opened a small hole at the top of the egg and they could see a little eye peering out. The rooster and hen tried their best to break the rest of the egg off the baby chicken but, try as they might, it wouldn't break. It was a very tough egg.

The shell of the egg was very, very lumpy. The world's most magnificent rooster decided to name the chick Humpty because of the rough egg. When the beautiful red hen took her little babies out to watch their father crow, Humpty didn't want to be left out, so he tumbled his way down the steps of the hen house. His daddy picked him up with his foot and said, "You not only are Humpty, but you're clumsy, also. I think I'll call you Humpty Dumpty." And that's how Humpty Dumpty got his name!

As Humpty Dumpty grew, his shell just stretched to fit him. It happened that the farm where Humpty Dumpty lived was right next to the King's farm. Since the other animals thought he was kind of weird, none of them would play with Humpty Dumpty. He had no friends at all, so he sat atop the stone wall next to the King's farm every day, all by himself.

Humpty Dumpty watched all the King's horses and all the King's men practicing in the meadow every day. They became his friends and waved and said hello to him as they rode by. Humpty Dumpty would lift one leg and wave back at them. Because of his shell being round, Humpty Dumpty would sometimes lose his balance when he raised one leg to wave.

One day, as Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, the wind was blowing harder than usual. When he lifted his leg to wave, the wind blew him right off the wall. He fell to the ground with a loud "THUD!"

All the King's horses and all the King's men rushed over to help him. One of the King's men yelled, "Quick! Bring the first aid kit! I think he's seriously injured!" Another man opened the first aid kit and frantically tried to tape the shell back around Humpty Dumpty. He was almost crying as he said, "Oh, my, oh, my, I'm afraid it's hopeless!"

All the King's men were nearly in tears. They thought their friend was damaged beyond repair. But then Humpty Dumpty shook himself and flapped his wings. Imagine their surprise when he said, "Boy, does it feel good to get out of there!"

One of the King's men asked, "Are you alright Humpty Dumpty?"

"Yes, I think so. I can even move all my parts!"

Then a strange thing happened. Humpty Dumpty raised his head toward the sky and let out a loud, "Cocka-Doodle-Doo!"

About then, his mother ran around the end of the wall. She had seen and heard all the noise and excitement and just knew her baby had been hurt real bad! She screamed, "Where's my baby? Where's my baby?"

One of the King's men said, "I think he's just fine, ma'am. Doesn't seem to be anything broken. Sorry we couldn't put him back together again."

Then the red hen saw this pretty baby rooster and asked, "Humpty Dumpty? Is that you? Oh, my, you're father is going to be proud of you. Let's go find him."

Needless to say, all the King's horses and all the King's men had no need to put Humpty Dumpty together again. As Humpty Dumpty walked around the end of the wall with the beautiful red hen, with the beautiful long eyelashes, one of the King's men said, "There goes the future most magnificent rooster in the world!"